Other Side of the Rainbow

It's official. United has emailed me with an ultimatum: pay $1,240 or lose your Premier status.  I feel very vulnerable right now. This has never happened before. Not even at Spearmint Rhino's.

The deciding factor was the New Year's Eve flight. I had previously believed that the rules were simple: points and bonuses accumulated through credit card use and other means would never count toward status miles. Sitting in a plane would, always. As it turns out, if your ticket was paid for exclusively with miles, sitting in a plane doesn't count either. 

What results is an email in January with a link to a drop-down menu that tries to maximize exploitation against your utility curve. If you're short between 7000 and 8000 miles, the make-up is $1240. If you finished the year short 1 mile, it's $299.

I'm not going to pay. But I will grovel. I will nurture that tipping point in a relationship when you start listing facts and past experiences in an effort to overcome the emotional dynamic that has already shifted. Member since 1994! Supported your stock post-9/11!

"It's my fault," I say, "I know I wasn't on board very much this year."
 "A hablar espanol...dos."
"Let me just talk to you."
"Sorry, I didn't get that. Please re-enter your eleven-digit account number."
 "I swear I didn't know I was carrying more than three ounces of liquids."

Used to plan our future together while standing on that moving walkway at O'Hare - the one toward the international concourse that slides under the rainbow lights.

Now, I try to move on. I've been having these online chats with Cathay. The conversations are generic, and sometimes the language barrier gets in the way. But new relationships have to start somewhere. Even if it's 65D.